my new favorite insult= "thundercunt"
he made transformer sounds every time he changed positions. how do you think it went?
Soooo, if his status went from married to single and he deleted all the pictures of his kids does that mean he's up for dibbs?
when she first told me she hooked up with him my initial response was to shout "WE HAVE SOMETHING IN COMMON!"
Also, I threw up on the playground again. I've honestly had more fun there this past summer than I did in my entire childhood.
He fell asleep and I'm awkwardly laying here because all I have to wear is my tutu. I'm pretty sure his roommate is going to be back soon so this should be fun. This is my life now. PS. the background of his phone is a picture of his hedgehog.
Im currently watching two girls making out. In the library. Hope your studying is going as good as mine is. Haha
I yelled kanye while he was fucking me. It just felt right
but we were going camping. it only made sense to bring the 6 ft bong
I think this shark week should consist of getting drunk enough to actually go hunt sharks ourselves.
I drank enough to tranq a steed. You really missed out
Laziness has hit a new level. I'm out of clean sexy underwear and meeting a boy tonight so I'm having a thong delivered via post mates.
You poured a bottle of water into the salad bowl and said "bowls are a joke" and then poured it into your lap.
I told my mom that I might be hungover today so she needs to make me an omelet.. it happened and I'm happy
Who cares if he’s younger, he’s hung like a moose. Your vagina will never forgive you if you pass on that dick
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