I want to snug with you.
You want my snuggie?
I molested 6 butterflies tonight
Take xtc, wait 20 minutes and then take a shower. Trust me.
At some point I made a semi-conscious decision that i was okay with sleeping in my own vomit.
I think I pulled my groin stumbling back from the bar. That or the hippo I woke up next to.
I have a challenge for you: find out where you are. you will receive Taco Bell if you succeed
We decided this year instead of not participating in Halloween at all we are going to hand out free beers to the parents.
Whatever dude, just dont tell her your first impression was she looked like your cousin. no judgement here. just sayin.
Directions to your booty call: go down the part of Route 66 that has all the car dealerships, motels and bad decisions, go past the Christian college and turn left at the Children's Center.
My mind just played a snippet of me asking to be a Joey and trying to climb into your apron pocket...
Reason # 294827284949272 i could never be a cop. I would just shoot. All the time. Ppl. Animals. Inanimate objects. Air.
I'm gonna do it. I'm gonna write gay mortal kombat fanfic. May the gods be praised for whisky
I know EXACTLY where things went wrong with her...I didn't use Cheetos as a wooing tool.
It was after I slept with him he tells me he's a juggalo
Well it was nice knowing him
I dont understand why so many people are content staying in and avoiding alcohol and sex
Randomize
