Good. I was naked most of the night. But sometimes I would wear my tux vest...But only my tux vest. It was classy
she asked me if the dress made her look fat, i told her no - the fat made her look fat.
I think we should involve a squid next time we fuck.
u kno there is a reason i dont tell mi friends about u
can you blame him?
i blame him for everything, HE GOT ME PREGNANT
i realized i had a pad on before i went to this guys house so i stuck it in his neighbors shrub.
we've been dating more than a month and i just realized there's no hair on his chest..
you've had sex with him. you must've seen him naked.
nah, i feel like naked sex would be getting too serious for us..
Apparently we had sex last night, and then I made him drive me to the beach so I could puke in the ocean.
Also, I've sobered up around 5am, in Delaware. I remember making this decision, and highly regret it now.
so not only am i rooming with two chicks on the volleyball team, but we just put down the deposit on a hot tub. this is going to be the best summer ever for my dick.
I jerked him off and then punched him in the face for no reason. Typical evening drinking Sailor Jerry's.
I like the wholesome side of you
I'm so goddamned horny I could use all my pent up energy to tear a redwood out by its roots.
U touched your head and and said "oh look blood" and then looked at me and touched my face... And said war paint
Dude he's moving to fucking Germany now. What is it about your vagina that makes men want to flee the continent?
I might as well walk around wearing a sandwich board and accept the fact that I'm dying single.
So...I know we have a conversation later this week. But one of the key things I want to know is if I can specify having my body mummified and buried in Egypt (or at least nearby the Luxor in Vegas). How much money do you think that would cost? Do I need to increase my life insurance policy?
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