Afterwards she curled up in my dog's bed and slept there all night
How mad was your dog?
well, if it gives you any insight into how crazy it was, i am currently wikipediaing "anullment"
I didnt realize til after I got out of her apartment and into the lobby that we lived in the same building.
Woke up with a migrane, threw up blood, then my headache went away. I'm going to convince myself that it was just a bad batch of blood so I can drink again tonight
She told me she wanted to wax my ass. I'm terrified and oddly aroused.
Oh so it was one of those "I shouldn't have gotten in a cab with a random 21 year old girl" kinda nights.
I have my ice chest next to my bed. Instead of breakfast in bed, its beers in bed. 10x better
I'm not gonna lie; I was dosed with mushrooms and am eating pickles with a guy in all white. It's weird, but I'm down. Help.
90 seconds of pumping and 2 months of bragging all summer. So much for my reputation here.
It has moved into the cliche "thin line between love and hate" real quick. With her. Not Taco Bell.
Well I woke up and my arm was bleeding. And my blood is on the wall in the hallway.
Umm
No idea. I blame fireball.
Valid.
I spent last night dying strippers pubes green and landscaping shamrocks. That is why hands look like I squashed a leprechaun.
Accidentally searched up "pizza pasties" instead of "pizza pastries". I was not disappointed.
I keep having dreams where I tie him up and eat cookies off of him while riding him. Wtf brain.
Now we just need to figure out why your underwear was in your bra
Randomize