She kept saying "I didn't do it" but she was so drunk she forgot her pee was orange from her UTI medicine.
When we were fucking, you could hear the beer sloshing around in my stomach
I may be the first guy in history to get dome while watching An Extremely Goofy Movie.
Im drunk and they're making me play quiet game. Im scared. Baptists are here
on a brighter note, the strip club found my atm card
I don't think the cop knew you were on ecstasy until you asked for a back rub.
That was around the time you tried to kick me out for being rude to your fish.
will you please explain to me as to why or how i have a dirtbike tread looking bruise on my back?
we bribed her with croutons and jello shots.
Your lower body and my face have had way too much contact lately.
They have a stripper pole on their deck. Normal.
Well I'm missing half a toenail if that's any indication of my night
You sent me a naked picture of you as a child? How is that normal
Its only once in a life time you get to pick your vcard swiper up from jail
We had sex in Lake Michigan for an hour Sunday.
Thanks for ruining an entire lake for me. I hate you so much right now.
Randomize
