Dude, no joke... I lost my wedding ring in some skank last night
It makes me feel uncomfortable and unsafe when he licks my pants
i dont mean to point any fingers but there is a lot of urine in the kitchen
My mom and I were trying to explain to my sister what an uncircumcised penis looks like. We had some minor disagreements.
While he was going down his phone rang and he answered saying I'll call you later I'm eating.
hypothetically speaking is slutty or smart to buy plan b before we go on spring break so i dont have to get it in mexico
Either call me back or tell me you're in jail. For fucks sake. If this is a cop, just help out. national league.
I may quit my job to go be a costumed Jedi at Disneyland.
You know she's gonna fuck shit up when she shows up in a neon wind-suit
Yeah because the only thing stopping you from fucking Emma Watson is you not being a Gryffindor
Taking a shit in a Texas 7/11... not accepting phone calls now lol
Last thing I remember I was riding on a picnic table being hauled around by a lawn mower with an empty case of bud light on my head...
And I hope you're not misinterpreting us fucking as me trying to win you back. The sex is good and girls have needs.
she has no right to get mad at us for drinking during the wedding. she's the one that chose the bridesmaid dresses with pockets.
Can we just take a minute to acknowledge that you're drinking with your gay ex boyfriend's DAD who is a DEACON??
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