OMFG I JUST SAW SOMEONE GIVING SOMEONE ELSE ROAD HEAD AND THEY HIT A POTHOLE. my day has been officially made.
have you ever wondered what it would feel like to stick those coneheads in your vaj
omg every time its on
Nothing ended up happening last night because he couldn't get my overalls or fanny pack off. I woke up this morning with one strap over my overall shorts on, my fanny pack wrapped around my chest, and the baby doll still tied to my hand. Ugh white trash parties!
Does transporting jello shots count as driving with an open container?
all ill say about last night is that we tried to stop you. oh and the bus you're on is going to nashville.
I took my pants off in the cab and tried to bite his ear. Not going oout for awhile
Why is there a video on my phone of us trying to snort a line of Reeces Pieces with you chanting "This is how fat girls party"?
I opened my door to find him standing there with vodka, McDonalds, a smile and a hard-on. Of course I let him in.
Felt so good this afternoon, figured I wouldn't have a comedown. Wrong. Just realized I've been staring at a wall for 40 minutes contemplating the color yellow.
It just smells like spaghetti and despair.
I may be going to Mexico. I just met a drug dealer at a strip club. Seems legit.
I just love that a strip club has taco Tuesday.
I don't trust his life but I trust his penis.
dude the dog literally grabbed the condom out of the trash can and threw it in the air i'm screaming
What did you do with the dog when you went into the club?
coat checked
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