its good she wears the same dress to all the weddings so we can track how fat she's really gotten
so glad i banged her when she was skinny
my family just sang happy birthday to baby jesus. no ones even drunk yet
there's chicken and sequins in our bathroom sink. part of me almost wants to know what happened
My mom said "I don't want to fund your drug problem" so she gave me a gift card to the book store. I now have a 420 page book on growing weed.
That fucking fat Asian kid that NOBODY invited is stuck in the dryer again
One of those nights had to have been when we tried to walk through the McDonald's drive through -- and then got in the car with complete strangers. And stole their hamburgers.
We shall study the pictures later and see if his penis is worth my time.
her spring break bucket list included "break into The Swamp, blow him where Tebow has Tebowed"
So, just in case you go to the bathroom in the middle of the night.. Sam is asleep in the first stall.
Well, I made it thru a doorway, so I think things are going good.
You kept running up to married couples, taking their pictures and begging for them not to get divorced
Went outside and he was playing rock paper scissors with a cop over a drunk in public ticket.
I hung my underwear from the tree in his front yard. Consider my territory marked.
Know we haven't talked but having an orgy party on the 20th if you're interested. If not, disregard this text.
Who is this?
Like, I just want a guy who will drop what he's doing to come touch my vagina whenever I want and to leave me the hell alone whenever I want. Is that SO MUCH TO ASK??
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