And then I watched some old guy get arrested for meeting some other old guy for a blow job. It was epic.
your suggestions for charades were, getting sucked into an aircraft turbine, getting raped by a dolphin, and having sex with a vacuum cleaner. you got your own, and actually used a vacuum cleaner as a prop.
I just woke up wearing the O-ring from my dildo harness as a bracelet. Classy.
the fact that you could barely do more than slur incoherent sentences didn't stop you from correcting her grammar
I'm not gonna lie. having my legs shaved for me in the morning was a lovely surprise.
Wow thanks 4 throwing jello at me an yelling who invited that guy to all the guys at the bar
Amazing. Super drunk. We stole a street sign in a golf cart and went around jousting trash cans all night.
Good idea. You gotta take care of your vagina. She takes care of you. Pay it forward.
I feel bad for the cleaning lady. All you can smell is latex and Jaegermeister
There are very few times i will succumb to laying naked on my bathroom floor. But lastnight is a resonable enough cause.
he may or may not have motorboated me on the steps of the library of congress
Sally, Your mom and my mom hooked up in college, we must uphold this tradition.
do you think your dog feels awkward being in the background of your nudes?
Oh shit that's not good dude. I'd head straight for Williamsport hospital the first ingredient in that shit is lithium batteries. You don't want to know what the second one is
If a weird guy texts you in the near future asking if you are satan just go with it
Randomize
