Singing into hair straightener during spice girls....sooo dangerous
The seats are awesome but you see two of each player.
Because its an amazing idea and you're the only one I can think of that will allow a pirate threesome
Your last words were "i'm gonna motorboat the bartender." then you commenced with an attempted motorboat
luckily my workout playlist doubles as a masturbation playlist.
Unless you consider jello shots food the answer is no there is no dinner here. When u get food get more wine too tired of you coming over drinking all my booze and destroying my vagina
googling pictures of Lindsey Lohan so that I know what to wear to court is definitely a low point in my life
Just woke up next to a girl with 30 hot dogs in my bed. Vodka you win again.
You haven't lived until you've thrown up naked in a hotel room in Fargo while holding your breasts so they don't touch the toilet bowl.
AND I HAVE A NICE COCK! A STRIPPER TOLD ME SO IT MUST BE TRUE!
Just masturbating and watching Sports Center...is this what it's like to be a guy?!
In honor of Super Tuesday, we should have the sex tonight.
I'm shaking a cocktail while in bed. Is that bad?
Now I am free. And I want to go meet men. My phone deleted all my contacts, and I consider this to be a new beginning. With a new man in my phone book.
He licked me while I ate pretzels and chips. I was really living my best life.
Randomize
