you know you were refereeing rock paper scissors for who got to make out with your sister right?
why is it whenever you puke in the park there are always little kids on the swings?
I don't know where I am but there are firefighters
There comes a time in every girls life when she must use her boobs for good instead of evil.
Your pregnant arnt you
boy from dating site added me on facebook. i don't know if i'm ready for him to see what a drunk i am.
I'm going to email her once I get off the bathroom floor
Of all the things I am low enough to do, how could you even doubt if that was one of them?
so now that i'm sober i just want to apologize for violating your back seat...... on a brighter note thank you for playing the little mermaid song "kiss the girl," really set the mood.
June 16th my calendar just says boobietassels....I can only assume that has to do with you
Honestly bro, I can't look at girls you've banged. Its like looking herpes in the face.
There's still helium in the tank I found in the garbage outside the bar!
She asked what it would take for you to fuck her. You drunkenly mumbled, "pepperoni pizza" and then got in the cab by yourself. You were smiling too. It was weird.
I came in shy and timid. By the end of the night I hulked out broke two lamps, their coffee table, some plates, and still had sex.
There's a stripper getting there at 10 though so hopefully I'm out before the stripper gets there. I don't have time to deal with a stripper.
My desire to pee is a lot higher than my need to be buzzed right now.
Randomize