I twisted my ankle last night doing a super high five with 3 inch heels on.
Just got roadhead in a driving snowstorm. That shit should be a Winter X games event.
drunken yoga. on the beach. senior week. you have been chosen <3
I woke up next to him fully clothed but my thong was around his neck. Polling to decide if we had sex or not starts now.
I have no idea how I got home or why I am naked but I assume I owe you a thank you...
I just woke up tangled in fishing line while wearing someone else's bathing suit with fishes drawn all over me. What kind of sex did we have?
You can wear my underwear. It'll be like old times.
As I'm trying to leave her house she shushes me and puts my hand on her boob, then goes back to sleep. In like 30seconds. What the fuck.
Mom looked at me, frowned, and said "it makes me sad to see you drink before noon.." So i told her if she doesn't like it she needs to stop waking me up before noon.
True freedom is running around a sex club in former power plant in Berlin wearing a boots, a jock
He kept telling me Te Amo last night. Over and over. And that he was scared. Drunkenly. In Spanish.
How drunk do you think I'll be by the time I get home?
I just watched you drink a whole glass of wine through a Twizzler. Pretty drunk.
I refuse to answer that question on the grounds that it may incriminate me
I took my makeup off with mouthwash. Seemed like a good idea. It worked.
Sarah was butt-chugging wine and diarrhea'd all over the wall
Randomize
