nah, shes just mad because we went through all her fb pics and tagged her crotch as all the guys shes fucked
i need to break up with him. i realized this while i was making a mental grocery list while we were having sex. this is not the first time i've done that.
Did we have sex last night or did we just wake up naked covered in oil?
I just peed in the Schreyer honors college shrubbery. Thanks honors students, you're finally good for something
I don't care if the man pisses on teenage girls, he's enchanting.
You just made it sound like a children's toy! It's a functioning body organ, my vagina is not a gameboy!!!
OH MY GOD I JUST WANT TO GO HOME AND FART ALL NIGHT.
alright. I just need to set some ground rules, no lighting me on fire, and no broken bones. fair?
Girl it's 3:30 get your life together and come enjoy a bowl, some coffee and a brownie with me
His hair looked like he was in a bukaki and then got a perm right after
The dude at Coffee Bean just handed me my tea latte and whispered, "pomegranate blueberry is such a sexy flavor". With a wink. I'm almost certain that there's an STD floating around in my drink.
Just sitting at dinner with my dad...simultaneously texting "daddy" to confirm saturday's spanking and telling another guy to get condoms before Im done with dinner. Don't know when I got so ate up but I'm loving it. You?
Regretting asking you what you were doing.
I've had my dick out in public way too much for someone my age...
They offered me pot brownies in 7 minutes flat. Imagine my horror when I had to be like, are those gluten free?
I just hooked up with the German exchange student who doesn't speak English. And you said I have no talent.
Randomize
