DUDE. I'm missing my big toenail. My bed has blood all over it. WHAT DID WE DO LAST NIGHT?
I don't know, but I chipped my tooth and I'm wearing different underwear.
oh and i feel obligated to inform you that there will be no sexin' because it's 'lady time' for me. so this ain't a booty call.
so high. i feel like my whole body is a boner
P.S. I can't hear my feet
Girls only wine night turned into a sloppy drunk lesbian orgy again
she said if she won the lottery she'd fuck me... isn't that like government funded prostitution?
I woke up naked dangling by my feet from the balcony over his foyer. He's officially my new favorite booty call.
yea. Don't mess. He will heal me. But my blowjobs will be historical.
Mom said you looked used
I broke down outside of an all boys correctional facility
well if that's not a gay porn waiting to happen, i dont know what is...
Dude, you were dipping oreos in vodka and asking people to try it, "It's so good!"
Cooked breakfast with his mom this morning...I'm like the housewife of one night stands
Imma need a double jack on the rocks and a BJowsky from the hot bartender.
Yes I said BJOWSKY. Pronounced "buh jow skii".
I woke wondering who the hell was in my bed. Then i felt boobs and remembered Haha. Thirsty Thursday killed my liver and my homosexuality
Some nice lady just gave me a beer out of her purse. I love youth hockey
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