batman just walked across the sidewalk
lay off the drugs
no for real he was wearing a cape
There could not be a more unattractive person. She just told me her period was so bad that she got sick. I think my penis retracted and killed himself
sometimes i wish i could find another girl that loves my dick as much as she does
i feel like she has dreams of it being like a person saying hey lets go play
he asked if he could put his cape on while he was still inside me.
Like many of my risky ideas this has "burned genitals" written all over it
I gave ten strangers a full description of his penis and its abilities. I need to stop drinking.
There is a mirror in the headboard of the bed that I'm sleeping in so I can immediately question life choices when I wake up.
Just sharpening my eyeliner with a butterfly knife. You know. Typical weekday morning.
Well, if it makes you feel any better I'll be drinking tequila and doing lines on Halloween. Just like old days.
I yelled "NO FLEX ZONE!!!" at the guy that thinks it's cool to take off his shirt at the party then proceeded to puking
Fun. You missed it. Michael broke a door with his erection.
Looks like it rained condoms in my room last night
Fuck twitter. Fuck men. Fuck bras. Fuck flip flops. Fuck makeup. Fuck perfume.
I want to find him again. His Corona tank top and I were made for each other.
We had a pink drink in honor of my underwear and apparently I made out with our bartender... a few times
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