I wanna bring you to show and tell
After I just paid $211 for my hair to be dyed and cut this guy at the bar said "I know you died your hair with koolaid, but I'd still fuck the shit out of you"
just had an encounter with drunk people from out of state at dairy queen. they wanted to stay till march to see the high school play.
I've grown up since last year. I don't give blow jobs as birthday presents anymore.
He practically bottle-fed me Jameson, like I was a baby chimpanzee on those nature specials.
I can hear the condescending tone from the atm when it asks if $3 is all I would like to deposit
Just so you know, a true one night stands ends with a 7 minute blow job after eating a sandwich she made for you while the taxi you called for her comes
...Then she just started hitting me with a loaf of bread.
5am is far to early to be on jagerbomb number 6 right now
We passed my parents while I was giving him road head...that awkward
How does she have a hairless cat and a husband it's not fair. Both are hard to come by
Giving the guy pizza was a good idea. Leaving him naked on the pool table makes you my hero
I witness him finger a girl behind the dj decks yet I'm still going to meet up with him. Wtf is my life
you ripped my door off of the hinges, kicked it in half and then proceeded to throw it down the stairs because i wouldn't make you a cheese burger
Watching porn.....Adele is playing in the background...so many emotions right now...so many.
Randomize
