Apparently at one point I was wearing my sweatshirt backwards like it was normal and then I threw up into the hood. Never drinking again.
I dont remember anything after Tequila & Apple Juice. May have disovered the recipe for mental bleach.
you took out flashcards at the bar and went around asking guys what totalitarianism meant.
My complete lack of self respect has really improved my blow job technique
peeing off your aunts pourch into the koy pond seemed like a good idea at the time
Of all the things I am low enough to do, how could you even doubt if that was one of them?
I think she's going to be dangerous to drink with, but I'm ready for the adventure.
Are you responsible for the syringes and miniature cactus garden that has magically taken over my fridge?
in the future when you find clothing in your street, just assume it's mine.
You're tall, so I have high hopes for your dick.
How the fuck did I get back? Last thing I remember is being on some hot guy's shoulders yelling at girls shaking their asses
We'll talk about it later...
I need dunkaroos back in my life.
Enjoy the penises
Dude we just exchanged Zelda related pickup lines. I fell in love at "you can blow on my ocarina"
Haha i really think theres no better way to tell a paramedic sorry for breaking your nose than a beautiful and healthy edible arrangement...
Randomize
