Plan A DEFINITELY worked... Go with me to get Plan B??
i now know from two sources i am better at making out and giving head than she is. and not by a little either.
his dog just threw up on me too. its like im a throwup magnet to that family.
she was seriously choking and the whole time all he kept saying was "that's what she said"
The doctor wrote 'condom retrieval' on my discharge paper.
bring money and cleavage
Right before we were going to have sex he said it was his "lucky condom" I don't know if that means its used or what.. But I'm freaking out either way.
dude she looked like Newman from Seinfeld I'm done with this wingman shit
Two questions for you. Did I throw up last night and did we get food or did I dream that..?
No you never threw up but you did force me to take you to wendy's because you wanted "beef and ketchup"
she genuinely believed that kangaroos are a cross between a deer and a T-rex
the good news is that even if it's Alex's, I can still say it's Colin's, because the kid will come out ginger anyway!
who knew there'd be a plus side to your ginger fetish one day?
Maybe he injected his testicle?
Honestly I am too high to watch videos of you jerking off right now
I'm going to need to invest in some knee pads if I keep having nights like tonight
i woke up face planted on your ottoman..thanks for letting me sleepover
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