My wife says its no good to have oral sex during pregnancy. So i guess pregnancy is like regular life.
Im so sleepy and hes snoring super loud! i just wanna suffocate him, sleep, and deal with the body when I wake up
you would have Pina Colada flavored saliva.
I would like to meet someone who actually lost their virginity in a candle filled room
He had an itunes playlist named "def not Glee season 1" which contained all of Glee season 1
I have "you made mistakes last night" written alllll over me.
i walked toward the cop car thinking it was the liquor store lights nd by that time it was too late to escape the trap
That's science, my friend. Boner science.
Nothing is more important than the last pool party of the season. Call in sick or gay or something.
alright. I just need to set some ground rules, no lighting me on fire, and no broken bones. fair?
It's times where you wake up in the hospital after trying to road surf that you wonder what you're doing in life.
He somehow pantsed the bouncer and tipped him over before cartwheeling and skipping away? Help me find him.
Yeah, we agreed, but I feel like I need at least one more ride on the bonecoaster
Your english degree would kill itself if it could read that text.
maybe a couloe typos.. noooooooooo big deal
I actually talked to his parents last night about it. haha. I had a bottle of smirnoff in my hand, I'm sure they took me serious.
Randomize
