gavin joseph was born around 1 oclock 9lbs 12oz... over 21 inches long
Thats what she said
so I just asked a Chinese man and found out our tattoos actually mean vagina...
the biggest problem in our relationship is that im team edward and my boyfriend is team jacob
just thinking about him makes my vagina shudder.
I don't know how it happened, one minute we were talking about Huck Finn, the next minute I was blowing him behind the corner of his apartment building.
Apparently I kept telling people I was a pro tennis player again...
Just so you know, a true one night stands ends with a 7 minute blow job after eating a sandwich she made for you while the taxi you called for her comes
As payment for all the times you have babysat me while im drunk, im giving you the shorts i stole from the guy i stayed with on friday night. They're clean. Come get em.
I just saw a group of 50+ year old women all wearing shirts that said "drink up, bitches" ...please tell me that can be us some day.
Edward fifth and chaser hands
Send me the video of myself under the polar bear skin. It's important.
Had the longest conversation today with a potentially homeless cuban woman about mind control.
An don't say it's "personal preference" cause I don't buy it. I just want to have normal cool guy balls. I don't want to be the dude that's still rocking the equivalent of the "mid 90's bowl cut" of scrotum haircuts.
You know you're baked when you feel your throat closing up from an allergic reaction to the pecans in the cookie you're eating but you keep eating the damn cookie.
I just had the most intense bikini wax of my life, i felt like i needed guardrails
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