It went from cuddling and watching blood diamond to watching the three of them snort an entire $80 bag of blow off the coffee table
come over, blizzard of oz party. dress up.
At 4am he sent "uree asss ize anmazin"
As he was under the stripper backwards, he yelled "we should totally be facebook friends"
Romantic bubble bath turned into splash war. We can't be adults about anything.
we were at work and Infront of the whole bar you yelled. "JAKE I WANNA GET FUCKED TONIGHT!" Us day drinking > everyone else
I don't know what was up he just kept sitting in his chair smoking weed and watching home movies all night it was weird as fuck.
And that's the fourth pair of yoga pants with unwashable stains from you.
Please hurry up and come back. This is so awkward. He's showing me banana videos.
The sex is great, I just think it'd be better if we listened to Deftones during it.
I have a guy for practically everything... except for making me waffles on demand. will u be my waffle guy?
Pretty sure the waitress here is concerned about well being bc I've been here drinking by myself for 3 hours. If only I could show here FB so she'd know I'm not alone...
Is it too much to ask for 10 minutes of privacy while I masturbate?
Step 1 was make out with him. so now we just need to come up with step 2.
I put the child locks on after I put you in the car and you then screamed, "I am a Phoenix, you can't restrain me. I NEED TO FLY!"
Randomize
