New Jersey isn't a real state, it's just a myth you tell little kids to scare them like Canada or Carrot Top
I didn't know people actually cried after sex.
Random fact of the day: cum is a really good eye makeup remover
They're calling for 20 inches of snow but I'll have a dirtbike for emergency trips to the liquor store. Even if I crash it won't hurt.
he belly flopped onto the beer pong table, and almost boke his face, so at that point we decided swimming would be safer for him.
No I got myself stoned. With her bowl. She was just a casualty of the War on Sobriety.
Of the three people getting wasted at this dance competition, im two of them
No man we're leaving now. The party will probably be busted soon. O and a bitch started throwing knives around the place, like real actual knives.
Just so you know, I woke up with 2 oven mits in my bed and no clothes on.
if a CSI technician examined our hotel room with a black light he'd think we hit the Pulse button a DNA blender without a lid
He has a burner phone just to send dick pics. It's revolutionary
I have 13 missed calls from when I slept outside on some rocks
I'm taking a shower and i'm gonna bring my pocketknife with me
guess who smoked weed with their grandpa tonight. and no it wasn't me.
She’s 47 and wants me to fuck her on her mom’s hospital bed
Randomize
