i wonder what megan fox's vagina feels like.
Heaven soaked bacon.
Nothings more american than taking a shit with a handgun next to you.
He gave his mom his old phone, and I am SO paranoid
Did you send adult things?
Um. Yes would be the understatement of the year
i'll give you all the meat in my fridge in exchange for 2 condoms.
Anywhere you can eat green eggs and ham, you can have sex.
so i never found you. but i found vodka. so its kinda the same
I think she must be bulimic. I mean, every time I see her I know i want to throw up.
Im only slightly posetive that left over guacamole and wine are unacceptable for breakfast at 6.30 am
all i remember is being at the diner with her at 3am and her storming into the kitchen to make sure the chef gave me regular fries instead of home fries.
his apartment was in a funeral home, walk of shamed through a visiation in the skankiest outfit i own
Ice that vagina down, get some coffee, and try not to walk with a limp. It's time to dominate, pull it together
After we drank 3, we built a raft out of the empties and installed the fourth submerged In the water to keep it cool. Keg boats are now a thing
I don't know which I need first...a shower or a confessional.
And I mean really who loses their phone in a tree
Taking a shot every time the Russian in COD says vodka... BEST drinking game ever.
Randomize
