Ugh now I'll have to carry around an overnight bag to all the bars I visit tonight. but hey! maybe I'll meet a dude! And need it!
I used a bag of wine as a pillow last night.
can a staight man not wear seersucker in this town?
you need to do more things constructive for your career. like wearing pants more often.
why is there a sandwich nailed to the wall
Making the executive decision for drunk you to not sleep in the lofted bed that has no ladder
I want to start this convo out by apologizing for the broken toaster.
WE COULD TOTALLY DO ECSTASY AND GO TO THAT CAT SHELTER OFF OF BROADWAY.
Just broke my collar bone. May not make it to the party.
i'm covered in glitter and body paint WTF
We're showing the video later bring pizza
I just told my mother my "if there are drugs I'm only taking them if I don't have to pay" rule and witnessed her perception of my shatter and crumble behind her eyes.
He gave me a box of cheez-its after sex, does that make me a hooker?
Sooooo drunk. We had the best sex ever and after he looked at me and said "That's whats up". I looked at him weird and he said "Young Jeezy would say it" and passed out on me naked. I think i might be in love
You fist bumped my dick last night saying good game. That you'll be back for the 2nd game...
We met behind our asshole boss's back with the intent to oust him from the company. If this revolution is a success, bring nachoes.
Randomize