Walk of Shame time yet?
Dude she's 6"2, blonde and on the cheerleading team. I look like Seth Rogen's fatter, unfunny brother. What shame am I supposed to be feeling?
i was thoroughly upset that he did not want to be my number 16, who passes that number up?
Don't worry, your car is safe with me. I am throwing watermelons out of it at mailboxes and hipster kids.
Not a clue. But I did find out that his penis has a British accent.
I am not even close to finishing violently masturbating over that video.
You tired to make us "vodka tacos". Which was just you dipping pitas in vodka.
Any good?
Well. FUCK YA. But that's beside the point
Half way through sex he whispered in my ear, " your the second best I've ever had" then proceeded to tell me to sit on his face.
How can other people our age be acting like adults when I'm still taking my birth control pill with left over gin and tonic from the night before?
Ive done some fucked up shit, but last night was the first I have Poured milk on anothers mans face in the shower.
There is nothing wrong with watching parks and rec all day then getting blackout drunk by night
Think of it as a business transaction. That's how I justify all the horrible things I do. Blow my married boss? Just a business transaction.
I'm laying in bed cuddling with my teddy bear and eating waffles. I need a fucking boyfriend
All I want is to get shitfaced and fuck random strangers is that really to much to ask?
Slept with a member of the band last night, found out today after extensive stalking he’s engaged. Pro tip: don’t research one night stands.
About that photo of the cake you just sent. You do realize it’s on a glass table, right? We can all see your reflection in it, and you’re very obviously naked.
Randomize
