That was rough. We had a 50% puke rate and 100% still drunk rate at lunch
I hope you have a really shitty weekend. I love you.
This is how scared I get when I ride roller coasters. And how scared I was when I had to poop when I had herpes.
wait, do i give off the impression that i DON'T want girls to show me their boobs if i video chat with them?
Places you have drunkenly threatened to piss: my bed, my bros bed, my moms bed, my bros wedding
All I know is I had a penis in one hand a bottle of wine in the other
Girl your like that last load of laundry... I'll do you eventually just not tonight.
after we were done she whispered to my dick "you sir, are a genius"
I guess all those years with her as your babysitter finally paid off.
hot boxing the bathroom at chili's. where the fuck are you, it's too big of a box for just one person.
Did you know that taking off a bra with teeth burns ninty calories?
Did I let your boyfriend smear a banana into my face last night? Because I have pictures that are telling me I did....
All this studying of HIV makes me want to have sex with you.
Dude I turned down free booze. I think I'm growing as a person.
Dentist appt at 2pm get milk poured on my tits by 2am
A marvelous 12 hours
Last night we proved the theory that "harder" is the worst rough sex safe-word ever.
Randomize
