I only have two playlists on my iPod. One for when im getting drunk, one for when I'm getting high. Is this something to be worried about?
The online application for Mcdonald's said I could do incredible things there. Today I threw out shit filled underwear in the women's restroom and escorted a very drunk/high 42 year old man outside after he ordered a 5 dollar foot long and a bloody mary.
she screamed"i told you already! counter clockwise spiral and the clockwise spiral!!" right in the middle of sex
wow, i never thought dating a choreographer would be so harsh
I dont know how to respond to your rave picture. I mean yeah, he's hot, but it just seems wrong to be like "Please tell me you fucked that guy with the pacifier!"
Ahh you know it's going to be a long day when you mistake a beer for a sprite at 10:30 in the morning while babysitting
I think that means you're growing up...when your coke nail becomes your opening mail nail.
I'm going as your incestuous sister. If thats not the perfect winglady I don't know what is.
I woke up on my girls floor with a pound of muenster cheese in my shirt pocket
If I'm gonna have a rotation of guys, I really should stop them leaving boob bruises...
Isn't it funny how we're still best friends after that incident with the old lady in the bathroom
You fucking bailed on me. But I love you still
I think he just shit his pants. Yep he did. That's unfortunate.
She stood up through my sunroof the entire drive home. screaming her ass off and singing free falling..
I was dressed as Waldo and the cops kept saying looks like we fuckin found you
We finally gave up searching because everything had started to look like flip flops
at the hospital. Kevin drank straight from the river
Randomize
