you dont remember trying to break dance in the middle of the casino floor on ur own throw up?
oh that explains alot.
It's shedding
I told you penises don't tan
it's kind of slutty but what the hell, so are we
Im not spending 10 to get hit on by potential transexuals even if they are cuter than most of the girls I dated.
Just checked my phone. Sometime last night I googled sex positions in a tent. Was there even a tent there?
Meeting girls and telling em you have no hair on your calves is not an acceptable pick up line
You were on shrooms and "the trees are crazy green!" is all you could manage.
He can only pee with the faucet running. It's like I'm dating a fucking toddler.
I'd be 10x more excited if going out didn't require pants or the general giving of fucks
The fact that me being able to walk down stairs is an accomplishment in my books pretty much explains how I am
Sorry for all the snapchats, I wanted you to feel like u were in America getting plastered with me
I was so high I started singing Let It Go and then instantly started laughing 'cause I was eating ice. Everyone just stared.
Idk man there's lots of bad dick but even a bad cookie is still pretty good
I danced shirtless on a platform with a fucking stripper who went to MIT
He deliberately gets me high because he knows I fuck better and then I make food for two. I don't know if I should feel mad or proud of him for thinking that far.
Randomize
