its good for cellulite if you don't wear underwear. its true
Yea, forget your mom. She will be home after her one night stand.
Dude, I don't think I'll ever be able to find a girl for me...
Is this the gay conversation?
walking on gravel proved too much for her barefeet so she traded her bra for some guys sneakers.
Im am drinking whisky alone in my parents basement. I think I just watched the point of no return stroll by.
you know you were refereeing rock paper scissors for who got to make out with your sister right?
keep an eye on me. i'm afraid that after a few more drinks i'll ask to borrow his wheelchair.
I just realized I am holding a beer in 133 out of 134 photos of me on my facebook page.
Nobody is perfect
I'm at Waffle House wearing one of the paper hats in the other
Fuck. I just got my nipple tweaked by a plus size drag queen in a purple dress. I feel like I got molested by Grimace.
we're using his nephews tonka truck toy as a cooler for the beer
I still have his teeth marks on the base of my penis. You didnt miss much
Did u see the proverb she left as a comment on my picture?
If drinking had a "new high score" I think I hit it this weekend.
The important thing is that she is gone, presumably back to the depths of hell from whence she came.
He grabbed my tits and sang "you are so beautiful" to them before faceplanting into my chest
Randomize
