i cant believe u jumped in someones trunk just to get out of talking to me
He lets me throw up in him even if i do it mistakeily- erica talking about the toilet
I'm buying a chandelier at walmart. WHO'S CLASSY NOW, BITCHES.
His mom took away his car and made him quit his job.
HE'S 26!!!
The only word I understood in that whole setence was semen.
thought i was the most hungover person in class until i saw a kid puke into his bookbag...he wins
Please tell me the foreign boys in the kitchen this morning were yours.
Seriously, do normal people actually get work done being this hungover? No wonder the economy's in the shitter
We need more drag queens in our life I've decided
Things in my bed this morning: a Waffle House hat, a finding nemo DVD, sharpies, my graduation robes and an adult diaper. Did we play drunk scavenger hunt again?
well he got me up crazy early but i got pizza for breakfast and an electric blanket to sleep with sooo he passed the one night stand test.
"The cab driver felt bad for us so he stopped to buy us chocolates. That counts as a valentine!"
So apparently Facebook just randomly finds the girl who gave me a hard handy despite having no mutual friends...
I don't want a big night. But I am okay if we wake up in a penthouse at Crown Casino.
So my best friends wedding ended with everyone seeing me getting eaten out behind the forbes church. Classy!
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