It's hipsters with their motorcycle cop mustaches, moccasins, douchey irony, and department stores to supply their independent conformity
Something's gotta give!
She had just swallowed, of course i didnt kiss her goodbye
Wasn't she moving abroad?
Are you really going to debate this?
well hello there hangover. fancy meeting you here on this BRIGHT thursday morning.
You say "I'm in class" like it matters... I'm getting a little tired of having to smoke by myself at 4:20 because you're in class.
She was that classic mixture between "Hell no" and "Why the fuck not."
What is the appropriate way to inform him that I am TOTALLY down for break up sex?
Babe. Honestly. Trust me. Your balls are not that big. And i'm eager.
Why do I always miss the parties you're naked at?!
I get naked cuz your not there
I would say "man cannot subsist on sexting and brownies alone" but I think it's actually possible.
I haven't even sucked a boob is 6 weeks I hate not college
I mean I've seen her tits but I don't know what her voice sounds like
Enjoy the penises
Some guy walking down the sidewalk just looked at me and said "hey it's the world champ". How drunk was I on Friday...?
the fact that I can still put my shoes on is a testament to the fact that I can outdrink these bros
Holy shit he’s stupid hot! If you don’t hurry up and make a move my ovaries are going to march over there and introduce themselves
Randomize
