Thanks for last night it was amazing as always
What are you talking about
You've got to be kidding me
Just bought purple Ray Bans. If there was any small chance that I would ever have sex with women ever again, I just buried it.
i just used shampoo as lube. why? because i'm worth it.
im at a party in sweatpants, slippers, and a basketball jersey from the eighth grade, 10 bucks says im still getting laid
vaguely remember the bartender stopping me outside last night so he could pull the duct tape out of my hair
At this point do you think buying mom a pot plant would be funny or highly inappropriate?
he literaly had a hockey helmet on and was swan diving off the couch onto the coffee table.
We decided we needed a drinks fridge in our bathroom.
I was pissed last night bc this girl didn't want to have sex but offered to reimburse me for the condoms. That just made me upset
I got shot at today. If that doesn't get me at least a blow job I give up working on the south side
there's a strong possibility i came on your eyeliner last night bathroom sex was unplanned and rather messy sorry
Kristy just reminded me that I have a bottle of champagne to lick off your ass hole...... This is by way of saying that we have plans on Friday.
To be fair I went my whole first week without showing up to work drunk!
Last thing I remember at your house last night is your dad leaning on the beer pong table and saying "you guys can fucking party"
Have you ever been anal in a bush on the Vegas strip drunk?
Randomize
