Last night I broke through a door, was hospitialized, arrested, and threw my shoe at a bouncer. This summer is gonna be fuckin sick.
Fuck, operation next sex victim is on as soon as i get back. Do not sleep with that red head, nobody likes accidental ginger babies.
do girls know yet that the best boners are in the morning?
I just want to go some place where I can have a nice night. Grind on men who speak no English, make out with a girl, and not feel judged.
I am literally using a balloon as a pillow on a park bench.
She scratched my sunburn during sex. I didn't know whether to cry or cum
just got home. some guy on my porch is tryin to show me his balls. no more parties at my apartment.
Literally just one second of unclenched butt hole away from shitting my pants.
I mean, the night I fell out of that bus I made you pour vodka onto my wound to clean it, then duct taped a paper towel to my hand and kept drinking.
Random pof guy just messaged me initiating a Pokemon battle. Want to be a bridesmaid?
Dude I was tripping acid when she was crying and I literally couldn't defend myself
do you think there's enough of the fabric you gave me to make a crop top for a cat?
Dude this weed has me so paranoid.
Yeah tell me about it I just screamed after I coughed because my own cough scared me.
Lunch?
Massage?
Spanking with handcuffs?
Best single mom victory - getting eaten out in my dodge caravan in the hospital parkade at midnight.Three words: screaming multiple orgasms.
Randomize
