I'll write directions out on a napkin and slip it to him. Then say P.S. The UTI is gone.... that's not creepy at all right?
Just found out its our ciliated mucous membrane that traps the molly when we snort it. Biology does relate to life
I just wanted to yell " i am not a shake weight!!"
But then he started to talk about his wedding he wants and I quote " and yes parts will be choreographed"
I'm sorry the first time we hungout you had to witness me throw up in the ocean then army crawl to shore.
He only dropped the Russian accent after we started having sex.
Also, not pregnant! Way to go uterus! Good job on being a team player!
There's a homeless man outside the bar. I have a toothbrush and toothpaste in my car. I think i'm going to give them to him. And they said drinking is bad.
You're so thoughtful.
I want this pizza in and around my mouth forever..
A big thanks to that bride-to-be, Her fiance and his loaded friends will forever hold a place in my heart for the generous tequila body shots on the couch at Henry's.
just got permission to expense a nerf gun
I can feel your judgement through the phone
The cop told you he couldn't let you pee. You just pulled your pants down and squared anyway and im surprised you didnt get arrested.No more drinking for you.
we went book shopping, so yes this relationship is going to be about more than sex
Bud light made chelada as a breakfast for those of us with class at 8 am
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