we screwed to my bar mtzvah tape, I became a man while watching myself becom a man
Just realized my talking to the tv hockey voice is same as my sex voice. Life just got a whole lot weirder.
We are not buying weed off a guy from the internet.
My right arm is handcuffed to my leg... Please help.
Life lesson today, a six foot hot guy I meet at a party CANNOT fit on my bike with me.
No we are not "bros" because I came out of my moms vagina& you went in there.
You don't put off sexcapades. Life lesson #1.
I feel like as your wife, as cool with your decision-making skills as I usually am, there should be a bigger explanation to you adopting a child while I'm in Houston.
The yoga party turned into an underwear party because we are all incompetent when it comes to tying bed sheets.
This has been a Party Success Story
My cousin is passed out in my room, so I just masturbated in my walk-in closet. Apparently I get off on danger. Make note of that.
You have 4 bottles of kahlua in ur drawers but no sox
There is a drunken, assless white chick here at this bar wearing a shirt that says "REAL WOMEN TWERK FOR JESUS". I have officially had it with our generation.
Xanax and cookies, it's good to be home
Is this what it's like to be an adult? You plan out play dates for your vagina?
Your bf is wearing nothing but a cape, I mean absolutely NOTHING but a cape. I know you said he looks like Thor but this is getting a bit ridiculous.
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