Hey, kurt drew a penis on you and wrote my innotals. I had nothing to do a/ that.
just saw an old couple make out...not too sure how I feel about it. though I will admit at one point I was thinking "oh yeah! get that!"
just watched an entire episode so you think you can dance for head. so wasn't worth it
did she really think she could get into the club & no one would recognize her from 16 & pregnant???
There are two people having sex in one of the showers right now trying to silence their orgasm sounds and failing. Thank you coed bathrooms.
How do you tell someone they are only invited if they put out?
She said she's saving anal for marriage cuz she has to save something for her husband...seriously just caught myself lookin at rings.
WHEN THE FUCK DID MCDONALD'S DECIDE TO QUIT SERVING BURGERS AT 1:00AM?
I would peed on everything
You said you brought chipotle into a movie and I asked you to marry me and you said yes
Whatever, you're gonna have to break it to mom that the reason I was so drunk at Christmas dinner is because she wouldn't stop asking me why I don't have a boyfriend
Now you can NEVER tell anyone that on thanksgiving I took a selfie of my pussy to prove they don't get worse with babies.
it'll be like the notebook except for with way more of my penis
after the ketamine those signs on the bathroom door had little meaning to us
We're at an agreement where I don't pry and she pretends blissful ignorance
We were playing fuck marry kill and he was eavesdropping so I said I would fuck him
It was like catching dick in a barrel
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