I just followed up on a noise complaint...only to find 2 girls in bikinis covered in jello with beer cans everywhere. I couldn't bring myself to bust that party.
I want to be a cop.
this is the fifth day in a row i've woken up after 3 pm, hungover. I might die when snowmageddon is finally over and we have to go back to class. my liver wont know how to take it.
there was so much ham clogging the tub drain.. he said it was ok he has a cleaning lady
We're trying to see who can drink the most and still be eligible to donate blood tomorrow.
This is stressing me out. I feel like I need to eat the dick.
I just found that video of you jumping onto my exercise ball feet-first and face-planting into my shoe rack.
As for the 14 hours of vodka. I am all that is man.
Just purchased ketchup, body wash, and lube. Hope you're ready for the post-memorial-day-cookout-shower-anal.
So as a result of a tragic manscaping accident I've had to shave all the hair off of my legs. The result is... not great
Vodka and Jamison is not a mixed drink
You rubbed a frozen pizza in my face. The concerning part was that it was semi cooked from our body heat
He got me off while watching hockey. He's a keeper.
Can I just fuck someone without it basically becoming an arranged marriage
JB just got pulled over and I am in the trunk...... this isnt good
She really wants to put my dick in her mouth, and to be honest I really don't want to put it there.
Randomize