"romantic friends" sounds more classy then friends with benfits
She started to tell me how she goes to a shrink, so I started thinking how to sneak out of her place, then she said part of it was for her sex addiction, long story short she's got her clit peirced n I just got laid
I knew she could be a good mother by the way she craddled three 40oz's.
he designed a suit out of pillows to protect himself when he fell.
engineering majors are such efficient drunks.
Absence makes the cock grow harder.
Taking Gomer to the ER. He tore something trying to stretch his nutsack enough to put his balls in his own ass. I need new friends.
So, this year for my birthday, want to get rip-roaring schmammered and watch my episode of my super sweet 16? We can do lines off my tiara.
She called it a palate cleanser. She and her friend dike it out once a year before returning to dick
Together or do they pick up? How far do they go? IS AN AUDIENCE PERMITTED? GODAMIT ANSWERS MAN!!!!!!
I partied with a deaf mute last night. strangely enough the more drunk I get the easier it is to understand him.
Apparently there was a black out and the security alarms went off except I was convinced it was the microwaves and made ben unplug them all then got really frustrated cos he wasnt doing it right
Everything was going well until he very loudly said that he wanted to cum on my fingernails.
Which is worse that I came in public or that no one noticed?
You kept licking me last night.... and said I tasted like jello. Next time, lay off the jello shots, okay?
We can use the Mac n cheese as the potatoes in our breakfast burritos. Problem solved.
I just put together something from IKEA so that’s mandatory oral for a week.
Randomize
