i got pulled over in my 'cops love me' tshirt. he didn't think it was funny when i pointed it out.
we were like drunken butterflies among sober caterpillars,
when she said she's going upstairs to put her "play clothes" on, I knew either she was a pervert or a kindergarten teacher. Either way, I wasn't going to leave. She's a pervert by the way.
We're upstairs smoking....the password is pineapple
You were rubbing your foot on one of your legs and kept saying, "My sock feels like a waterslide!"
when she was 9 she got kicked out of our 4-H camp dance for pole dancing on the spirit stick
You missed a lot. I drank contact solution thinking it was water, vodka thinking it was water and some unidentified substance that reminded me of pine sol thinking it was water..
Miller High Life will be the death of me. Well, that and shower sex.
Am I over stepping my bounds if I ask to fuck in your new bathroom?
It has heated floors
His mom walking in on us having sex was probably the highlight of the night
i think the realest test of our friendship is how hot your sister looks right now
I gave up great shower sex to be here so don't say I never did anything for our friendship.
it's a rainbow of FUCK YOU
How is someone going to pee on the floor two days in a row? Fuck this place.
I am that special "drink water and be grateful I'm alive" kind of hungover
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