you want me
i'd rather choke on a dick.
I use a guy for sex and get three minutes out of him. go figure
I dont know why I dont listen to you more often. He wont stop texting me. And his signature is "dancing with no panties on"
did i really try to jack off an athens police horse last night? please tell me youre kidding..
she keeps The Day After Pill in her bra... there is a God.
Im going to need an iv of taco bell after this.
Once he past out I measured his penis with my remote.
i'm sitting in class and looking at who would die if all the fans suddenly fell from the ceiling. i guess i have next year to pass history..
For the record we tried to find 4th of july porn. Did not turn out well.
I used my yoga mat as a door stop so he couldn't come into my room when i was sleeping last night. Drunk engineering at its finest
Oh and someone pissed in my shoes, so I'll let you figure that out.
If you buy me a steak I will make the extra effort to ride you. If not, I'm just gonna lay there.
He blacked out and wouldnt drink anything unless he funneled it, so I made him funnel water
She's nice. But even when I am with her I am thinking of her mom, literally the hottest woman on earth.
did i tell you guys i finally 69’d for the first time last night? just thought the group chat should know.
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