i just farted in a meeting....took me completely by surprise.
so you made the shocked face and they caught you.
yup.
if we dont hook up this weekend, im doing both his roommates
the party was called freshmen disorientation. i was just following the theme
They're here. One showed up as a slutty Crayola, and I think the other came as The Fat Friend.
Don't linger or you will get sucked into spending the night. Remember the mission mantra: GET OFF
I feel like a cloud. A cloud that wants to be laid.
If you're wondering why you have playpen balls it's because we stopped at chuckie cheese on the way home.
I have a diplomatic trade for you. My pants for your rum. Tomorrow?
You want to get day drunk this afternoon and watch these guys build a house across the street?
You gave him that scrunchie you made and called it your "sex offering".
If he doesn't give you the same feelings you get when the pizza guy arrives, he's probably not worth it.
i'm just really offended he didn't want to have breakup sex. like that was the only thing i was really looking forward to
It's cool bro. The video I have of you drunk trying to fix it with the sonic screwdriver was worth it.
Dude, you got arrested for trying to direct traffic with your dick....
His dick smelled like strawberries...it was awesome.
Randomize
