erin looks like she hung out with the sham wow guy last night. she's got the beat up hooker look goin' on
NEVER shave your cleavage hair.
next time a party gets busted lets get a group photo first.
I've decided the third guy that I slept with is who I lost my virginity to...
So I'm sitting at my desk and Thunderstruck came on my iPod. I then proceeded to drink coffee every time I heard thunderstruck. Who says you don't remember anything from college?
when I came to get Jamie there was a cop standing outside with her, made me roll down my window to tell me "she's got to go cause she won't keep her shirt buttoned"
Kriste-san. Brian-sensai going to sleepy times acturry. Kriste-grasshopper will spend fun-fun times with Brian-sensai and glorious redbox movie tomorrow yes?
Most creative movie date proposition... ever.
who's idea was it to start the NCAA tournament less than a week after St. Patrick's day? My liver needs time to recover for things like this.
Apparently nothing brings out sympathy in a barista like asking if they have a hangover special
You seriously don't remember crying about how much you miss your mom right before we hooked up?
I owe you an apology, I was appointed captain of this sexy fuckship and I fell asleep at the helm.
I got with him in my watermelon costume so ya you owe me $1
Me too like the fact they didn't arrest me wants to send them an edible arrangement
It makes my nipple hurt just thinking about it.
I was eating pickles straight from a jar, contemplating doing something productive. What did I miss?
Randomize
