Me= Watching Ferngully. My neighbor= Having really loud sex including multiple orgasms
Oh God
I know, but the worst part is I'm not really sure which I'd rather be doing. Feel free to re-evaluate our friendship
I believe that I finger-banged my way to the top of the corporate ladder.
Stop. You don't mean that. Tequila might mean that. But you don't mean that.
You're such a slut.
I prefer opportunist.
I am so 35 right now. Listening to REM, drinking red wine, and crying over an article about ecstasy in oprah magazine.
The only requirement is that his name is Kevin... All other factors don't matter to drunk me. Drunk me likey Kevins.
Sorority life is like alcoholic girl scouts, plus douchebags in polos.
I like how our relationship transcends the borders of inappropriateness and encompasses all the colors of the inappropriate rainbow.
Mate, you pissed in my bed. Then told me to "Just keep swimming"
I hate drunk me more than anyone else in this world
Have you ever been up at one in the morning and thought to yourself, "I do not know nearly enough about penguin reproduction"?
Remember when you brought a guy home from the bar... to our parents house.... on thanksgiving eve?
Just looked at my bank statement. 9 out of 10 transactions on the first page were from 9 different bars. The 10th was for birth control pills at the pharmacy. I need to rethink my lifestyle.
there's no judgement here...i was recently just fingered in my dorm hallway while having a conversation with 5 people.
Ok fell asleep on a bus in south Carolina just woke up in Canada where the hell is the liquor store from here?!
Randomize
