I need to go to a fraternity... my boobs are telling me to.
I then asked the hardee's employee: mam, do you mind if i pay 75 cents in cash and then put the 1.13 on my debit card.
If she's not going to maintain the upkeep of her vag then I'm not going to pay the rent of being her boyfriend
maybe all of them together would equal one normal sized dick.
No dude, you can't hot box a bus shelter.
He pulled his dick out during the Bourne Ultimatum, ruined it for me.
He played a tape of his mad rapping skills after the final...his rapper name was Mad Stylz and he rapped about all the pussy he got in the 90's. I love Sociology.
I action rolled over a firepit. Twice. I am the action roll king
You and Eric are like slutty bowling balls, and that poor family are the pins. They won't know what hit em.
strike, motherfucker.
Who wants vodka and apple sauce
Bad idea to be in a car concussed. I just described his dick as an elevator. I think i meant escalator, i dont know
You should be glad you didn't come with last night. I watched pirate porn for the first time in my life as the 9th wheel.
Okay, I just got to our real hotel and the YMCA may have been a better choice. A man w/ no shirt on
I will have to bone him sometime between now and July so he will move all my shit again
Went home with a dude from UF last night. Just dripped chicken onto my phone and then licked it off. Going to pick up a bridesmaid dress. Mid 20s in a nutshell.
Randomize
