whats a polygalesbian?
lesbian polygamists..duh.
I've done 29 out of the 30 things to do to a naked man according to Cosmo. I don't know if that makes me innovative or slutty.
Genius.
i just hope all the shady shit stops so i can let him into my pants
I made a vision board specifically for the purpose of boning john mayer.
just bought 2000 rhinestones and a heart shaped stencil at Micheals...I think the cashier knows i'm Vajazzling
He started to notice that i sleep with every girl he calls dibs on.
we found you outside the hotel room sleeping with a note next to you that said " we made sure you were comfortable, hope your friends come back soon"
You wouldnt be able to explain the can of green beans in my mailbox, would you?
You may have cured my horniness. I feel like my libido just got shat on by kittens who live on an enchanted rainbow.
I can feel my moral fiber fraying.
Thank you for the legal advice. I hope I can pay you in blow jobs.
Your feet probs hurt bc the cab driver kicked us out a mile from home after you wouldn't stop screaming "prohibition can suck my dick"
I deserve to have sex with a hot freshman ok
Can't talk, ducks in the car
Just waxed 95% of the hair off my vag. If he doesn't enjoy this tonight, you will, whether you like it or not.
Randomize
