is that paris hilton dressed up as the guy from star trek who hosts reading rainbow
I think I just was a dick to Paul Rudd.
what has become of my life if the best thing thats happened to me this week is that i discovered my cleavage as the best hiding spot ever for weed.
The make-up sex just reminded me why we broke up in the first place.
What is the pluralization of human? I just got humen rejected, and I am going completely blank...
working out is totally making me break out.. i'm doomed to forever be either a butterface or a butterbod. there is no way out.
Yes I hit her with my car. Yes I gave her a ride home. And yes she gave me her number. What's the problem?
Well it's been 24 hours and I still feel like a mammoth sat on my balls
Judging by the fact that he asked me if i wanted to serenade him using cocaine and Taylor Swift I'd say I so have it in the bag.
You tried to pay for our cab with the 2 dollars you got from selling your natty ice outside the strip club.
I'm willing to share. He can have sloppy seconds.
He just unloaded a dump truck full of red flags on my head.
I think putting on real pants was half my issue with today
the next morning we realized we didnt speak the same language... guess i subconsciously did learn a little german last semester. thanks study abroad.
ah the experiences a semester in Vienna can give you. Frau would enjoy knowing that even while sleeping during class you still managed to learn enough german to get laid
I teamed up with my vagina. I compromised his morals and then she corrupted him for good. It’s been a very successful and slutty partnership
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