I swear ... this hickey is a map to Amelia Earhart's whereabouts
what age do we have to be before we can stop fucking guys on the first date?
you made me have a moment of silence for the half of a sub sandwich that you dropped on the floor earlier
I don't have a choice really. It's either lose 15 lbs by Halloween, or I'm going as a giant banana.
It's official. I am the proud owner of his very own sex tape. Amateur awesome porn or awful delete-me-now porn? Come over help me decide.
I was fucking the girl and her best friend walked in on us. She said we looked thirsty, got us a glass of water, and poured it down both of our throats. It was like... sex bottle service
She brought a box of chocolates to give the bartender and now he's giving her free shots.. Why didn't we think of that?
why is my underwear the only thing i was wearing that smells like vodka?
YOU ARE NOT A BOTTLE OF RUM THEREFORE I DONT KNOW HOW TO LOVE YOU
That boy needs some memories to take back home with him
We all just did coke and we're coloring so if you're sober its pointless for you to come over here
I'll feed you vitamin c from my mouth this weekend. Like a baby bird.
Promise??
I've sent two unsolicited tit pictures in less than 24 hours. I'm the female version of a fuckboy.
omg girl... i cut your hair last night. tell me it looks okay!? i saw hair on the counter and i said ohhh nooo
Like bruh, I’m a free range girlfriend
Randomize
