I hope God doesn't listen to everybody on a Saturday night.
We got drunk before dinner. People at the other tables were praying for us.
The guy i fucked last week got done first on the test in my 900 person class. If im pregnant at least it will be smart.
He posted a picture of my bra on facebook with the caption "I don't know who I hooked up with last night but if this is yours please come pick it up".
i'm going through an 80s music phase. and by phase i mean i will only have sex to white snake
Not sure if this is better or worse than the discovery that bourbon and hot chocolate is a viable combo
Just watched a guy ride a bike off his roof into his pool. On my way to the liquor store, picking you up in 20
I just got head while watching air force one. Harrison ford would be proud.
Wearing a shark mask, slugging tequilla, in cowboy boots, and not minding that my spandex is on backwards. What are you up to?
I have a LOT of reasons to worry about radical feminists taking my lady balls, frankly. A lot.
So, seriously. How does it feel to know that you're riding a cock that was in kindergarten when you were going to prom?
Do you miss the park or do you miss us having sex in public?
Me and tommy were trying to figure out why our printer was jammed, found a condom stuck in the paper slot. #collegeprobs
so we were doing it and I was like umm hi im losing my virginity can you take off your beanie
he stopped mid makeout and said "can I pray for you?"
Randomize
