I must be too annoying 4 u.
and i forgot to tell you that my armpit hair is now completely grown back. man i love winter.
You broke out your mechano set and told us you were gonna "build us a beer machine" and 5 min later you were fast asleep
halfway through eating me out he goes 'oh that reminds me i have to buy fish for good friday'
i yelled out "tuesday" during orgasim. he fucked me into 2 days from now.
I'm silent, like a masturbating ninja.
Currently getting "blaow" buzzed into my pubes. How's your thursday?
it looks like my getting laid tonight is going to depend on my knowledge of native birds. this is a weird party
I was carrying around a bottle of Jameson yelling rescue me
Anyone who has court these next few days keep your head up & smile knowing we broke the County Record with 27 underage consumptions
My sobriety has gotten out of control. I think I need an intervention.
If I hear you use the phrase "silky soft scrotum" one more time I swear to God you'll regret it
What can I say, I just want your vagina in my mouth.
If you ever get divorced...would you call me??
what are you up to?
it's 8pm, i've already showered and gotten in bed. if you wanted to make plans u should have asked 3 months in advance
Randomize
