So its not gay if you have sex with another woman and its academic
so what if I'm having sex with a woman for recreation?
Thats gay
he left me a note this morning. it said "thank you for letting me touch you"
While I was banging her, her cell rang. She checked to see who it was, answered it, and moaned, "I'm dumping you."
She just started grabbing all the hospital's rubber gloves and face masks and shoving them in her purse, saying, "My tax money paid for these!"
I let a naked juice spill down my leg for like 30 minutes bc i thought i was hallucinating that my leg was cold.
Drunk me forgot I'm not an 18yr old raver anymore. Adult me is now in pain.
The goal for tonight is vagina. In and around. Doesn't matter who. How. Or why.
I'm reffing a fight in Fight Club I don't even know what I'm doing
And I also succeeded in getting kicked out of a bar when I was drinking straight from the vodka bottle at our table.
spending my first valentines day single in 3 years blazed and eating heart shaped brownies i bought myself. WHO NEEDS A MAN.
The blow job award ceremony was a little much. You guys didn't need to call out what happened the night before.
What? How can you say that? You won!
also, am i correct in guessing that advertising the size of my hypothetical penis is a turnoff to him?
I need to wear something that says I would have sex with you but I'm not going to
Why the HOLY HELL is my dog on my roof??? Sam?? Why is the dog wearing my pants
Fuck these bullshit days. My underwear are still inside out.
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