Turns out shot glasses hold the perfect serving of sour patch kids....I still fail to see how not having any real glasses is an issue
I feel like banging her is an expected thing. But banging you would be like getting a 36 on the ACT.
Totally just sport flirted the shit out of a girl on a wheelchair. I've done my good deed for the day.
Well it's a moot point because I did have a sink & I peed in it.
There is no try. Just do it. Yoda said that. Or Nike. I can't remember. whiskey
She really has to stop the coke at some point. Won't she run out of money eventually?
Won't she run out of nose eventually?
I can't believe I forgot to wish you a happy 13 week-iversary of the time you raw-dogged a rando. Only two days late, so it still counts. And since your 14 weeks is coming up, you should know that at 14 weeks your baby can squint, frown, grimace, pee, and possibly suck his/her/their/zir thumb!
DO YOU REALIZE HOW AWESOME MY GRANDMA WOULD BE IF SHE GOT HIGH
When you wake up with a bow tie and mustache drawn on your penis, you know you had a good night.
Oh also we fucked while one of the old Rudolph movies was playing on tv so it was festive
Like I said, all hypothetical...unless, of course, you'd be into that. My heart may skip a beat.
Checked my bank account this morning...apparently I went to 7-11 at 4am and spent $22 on taquitos. New all time low for me.
I ate all of them. New all time low for ME.
Why the fuck are you playing with legos?
Why the fuck are you questioning me?
I choose my mates solely based on size and ability. No cuddles. No sleep overs. Definitely no repeats.
Put down the Captain Crunch and get over here. It’s a dickfest!!
Randomize
