She had hickeys... what's up with that?? HAHAHA
I got drunk at the beach today. I got the word Badass! tatooed all the way across my foot. Probably a bad idea.
Wow, this guy is harder to get rid of than gum in pubic hair
I just saw a man vacuming his front lawn. What is this world coming to?
my bedside table was not meant to hold this many beer bottles.
I swear a good massage is the easiest way in my pants.
Not that there's a hard way... but you know what I mean.
We need to get sombreros so I can give them to strippers.
Chick last night said she only gets off if she rubs her childhood blanket her parents gave her during sex
I'm not taking advise from someone who responded to the pickup line "I have a penis"
At 12:16 am. We just got out of the truck and went behind it and fucked. With 3 people in the truck. On the side of the road. As cars drove by.
Last night, I listened to Aladdin on my ipod while I stole bread and cheese from Wal-Mart. I feel like you're the only one who'd be proud of me.
Halloween is the end of the singles holidays they don't start again until st. Patrick's day we better get wifed up or it's going to be a long winter lol
Can you not touch my dick while I'm holding a gecko?
I'm permanently fucked. Every liquid I put into my mouth automatically tastes like fireball.
But can mardi gras accurately capture the essence of my tiny rage?
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