careful when you do the walk of shame, they are handing out bibles on campus
Just finished my law exam. Questions 4-18 seemed to pertain specifically to things we've done this semester.
i officially have more pictures of his dick than pictures of us together
I have hooked up with someone in EVERYONE OF MY CLASSES.
That's how you know you deserve to be a senior
they're both coked to the gills having a shouting match about the powers and abilities of godzilla. and using the wikipedia entry on the topic to support their respective arguments.
I can't believe you broke a Paula dean wooden spoon over my ass
You stumbled in the house, mumbled something about a cheese party, grabbed a block of cheese and the whiskey, and left.
In a shocking revelation, I learned that the Easter Sunday shit show happened not because of vodka but because my gay neighbor drugged me.
Hey, who is this? Sorry, you're in my phone as "you better remember".
Don't linger or you will get sucked into spending the night. Remember the mission mantra: GET OFF
If you send me another picture of a donut on your penis while I'm at work, I may have to slap you With the donut.
We need to borrow someone's dog. Just so we can non-creepily go to PetSmart and watch all the other dogs take photos with Santa
The last time the Patriots won the Super Bowl I lost my virginity. I can only imagine what'll happen if they win this year.
Can't meet up at the party. Gary was caught by the cops attempting to drop a deuce thru his ex wife's Subaru via sun roof. Details as soon as bail is processed.
i'm currently watching a guy eat a bunch of cacti and i have lost all faith in humanity
**cactuseses
Randomize
