I have no idea what her name is. I only remember putting my dick between her ass cheeks.
Yep. About to get on pornhub to spill some Christmas cheer
You brought back some girl with you at 3am and introduced her to everyone as "hot pocket"
I mean, I'd wanted to go skinny dipping, hook up with him and have sex on a beach, so last night I basically killed 3 birds with one super slutty stone.
If you start sounding at all like you're even remotely in love, expect a lecture on the merits of being a single woman with a vibrator.
This is why we're friends.
the room spins SO much faster in panama
And there are taco shells on the ceiling fan
He once got bit in the face by a dog and still got laid the same night. He owns Memorial Day Weekend
Eating this pizza pocket is like eating out god
I filled two of the glass ornaments in my mom's bathroom last night with vodka. That way no one sees me drinking on Christmas. Alcoholic or genius? All I know it makes bathroom trips frequent and enjoyable.
Thanks for the cold. I shartted and sat through a whole soccer game. James made 3 scores.
as i sobered up i realized that her cute accent was actually a speech impediment
But in defense of this shit summer we've had, I totally perfected my shotgunning skills. I have achieved my summer goal.
he pissed the bed, like I literally woke up and he was pissing right beside me. With the electric blanket he's lucky he didn't get electrocuted
I'm so sorry to hear about your grandmother. Also how many grams are in an eighth?
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