I feel odd... a had sex with a chick and she keept her socks on...
Should I feel badly because I just bought a really hot pregnant girl a drink after I lit her cigarette?
He's doing the 1:45AM lap: he goes around the bar, finds the hottest crying girl 15 minutes before close, and brings her home. I would feel bad for the girls if it wasn't such incredible genius.
you can SEE the outline of a pad through her jeans. there is no way
I want her autograph on my taint
Shes definitely an expert at this. Her happy hour goes from 4 to 11, then she starts drinking heavy. She also allots 15 minutes each hour for a pee/bj break
Apparently blowing a .28 for a cop and then kissing her on the mouth is technically assaulting a police officer. Who knew.
Dude. Some drunk chick just put an Aussie hat on me and was screaming at me in German. Her friends had to drag her away. Point being, I now have a cool hat.
Were you rubbing your penis on me while I slept? I smell like penis.
This election needs to be over, im tired of girls asking who im going to vote for mid hookup
Come over so we can have two person sex in this one person tent
My apartment smells like a lavender field inside of a giant bong.
You got Broadway Drunk, dude. I haven't heard you sing "Music Of The Night" like that since the last time I was holding you up on the way to the subway at two in the morning.
if you guys find pieces of my teeth don't throw them out please
Any chance the bar is open now? Also who's wedding is this?
Randomize
