Do you think my bosses would frown upon Jameson with breakfast on this holiest of days?
Being college poor has reached a new low. I am giving up on masturbating so i can save money on toilet paper
Too long to explain. Basically I started an electircal fire. No one was hurt except for a box of cereal near the outlet.
I dare you try and top an Eiffel tower full of Margarita
Whatever, the fact of the matter is that I saved you from poorly planned outdoor sex by doing a rain dance and you should totally thank me.
So question, would you consider it morally wrong to grind up Cialas and put it in ones cocktail? Then I get what I want and he doesn't have to be embarrassed and he can win the mental game with himself? I'm only thinking of him...
The cop asked you after the breathalyzer what you think you blew and you very discreetly shouted "I'm pretty sure i blew Kyle on the way here "
After owing so much in back child support they should make vasectomy a mandatory
I knew it was you who came home last night because no one else would walk in at 3 am and start microwaving a burrito
Literally sucked a dick for ten seconds before I said to myself, this tiny ass penis isn't worth it. My night last night
Is there such thing as a tasteful dick pic? I think I just got one if they exist.
He woke me up holding a gallon of apple juice and a shot glass...
I mean seriously with your cock and my tits combined we could rule the world. Pinky and the brain style
Do I have to cook for the potluck? Can I just bring a costco size bottle of Vodka?
It's confirmed. I have two dates on Saturday, and they are both named Mike.
Randomize
