My grandpa is talking about laundry and he asked if i could run a "small hot load." Wow. I had to leave the room.
do you think having her use a clorox disinfecting wipe on her vagina will keep me from getting her herpes if I don't have a condom?
The fact that its 10am on a gameday and I have yet to shotgun is absurd
Stop. He threw up in front of Madison Square Garden security. Spit at the guys feet and grunted ughhh at him.
Were playing bathroom attendees at the party and making people wash their hands
i made a dollar
I guess birthday shots aren't always the answer
you'll be horrified to know he's visiting next weekend
You two are a rollercoaster of sex and silence.
So it sounded like a midget was barfing IN our walls again this morning ...
We fucked on shrooms. It's like his dick was a beam of light and when I came I turned into a prism and my orgasms were made of rainbows.
I told you alcohol was flammable, but you didn't believe me until you tried to extinguish your sparkler by submerging it in vodka and the bottle burst into flames.
You will drink beer in a kiddie pool in your back yard but you wont bring a girl home
holy shit I was not prepared for her to whip out that dildo
And then you screamed, "I JUST WANNA POUR MAPLE SYRUP ALL OVER HIM AND RAVISH HIS BODY!!"
I am confused/concerned about the circumstances that led to your consumption of 3 beta fish last night.
Im not as flexible as I once was, but I still managed to get eaten out in the front seat of a hummer behind keddies.
Randomize
