I need to stop making out with boys in plain view of half my class.
He looked like Harry Potter. I had to do it.
yeah he was eating me out and i didnt know someone made popcorn so I thought the smell was comming from my vagina
wtf
my mom took me to a gay bar and went on and on about all her good times at clubs... i now know where i get it
i feel sorry that you can never enjoy the feeling of shaved balls
Also, turning on the light this morning was a 3 step process. Way too hungover.
Some guy wearing a horse mask just knocked on my door and started whinnying. I opened the door and he was like, "...oh sorry, wrong room..." so awk.
I just want to meet whoever runs the hall cameras
hahahaha I don't. Watch one day i'll be walking along and someone will stop me and say "oh you're that one girl who is out. of. control." But then they'd probably give me a high five.
my dad pointed to my full beer and said drink up we're leaving now.
can you adopt me?
Teaching my class, used paper clips to fix my hair. Too hungover to be a kindergarten teacher.
Do you remember doing synchronized hip thrusts to Michael Jackson? Probably one of my favorite parts of the night
I mean I'm so obviously classy currently laying in bed watching a movie while finishing my drink from last night
I think there is a legit party going on the place we thought was AA
He got in a shopping cart outside of home depot and insisted we push him down a flight of stairs. For science.
i definitely signed you up to receive text message notifications from a jukebox last night. Not even sorry.
Let's just face it you're going to have an arrangement with your future wife your fuck me on Thursdays
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