make any headway on the foot/dick situation?
Desperate + desperate does not equal a fun night.
Remember that one time i smeared period blood on your face?
I hate you
I looked at my arm when I woke up..I guess after 8 tally marks I said fuck it and wrote "too much"
okay so i know you are missing your wallet but at least its not your tooth. i am missing my tooth.
I'm not sure what happened last night, but I have someone stored in my phone as 'Aftershock'
Of course my walk of shame coincided with the alumni marathon on campus. But, I did get a thumbs up from the woman handing out water.
I an in a belgian bar and i cant understand shit. Trying to talk to strangers. Getting drunk until we all speak the same language. Brace for updates.
He asked me to hum the Ghost Busters theme song as I was going down on him
I have 39 hot sauces from Chipotle
It's like earning obesity badges
So to recap Superbowl Sunday - I won $100, bumped into the anti-christ and his cult, met a guy in a kilt and a wican, then got invited to a gayguy afterhours party.
Gonna be tough to beat that next year!
He literally wrote out a schedule. On it, there's a taco break, and a spot where I start crying.
i woke up at 4 pm face down on my hardwood living room floor. i would say its a new low but i think I found my new napping spot
There's lube and condom packets all over the street we missed something awesome.
I'm not drunk or hungover and I don't have to work. My body is sooo confused!
Randomize
