So how was awkward coffee with forgets-your-name?
so when we got to the frat house he had a travel sized toothpaste and toothbrush for me and gave me a pair of his shorts and a girl's sorority t shirt...something tells me he's done this before
So it turns out there are pros and cons to having a broken wrist. Pro: I can give amazing blowjobs with my left hand. Con: I just had to open a packet of crisps with scissors.
She just stuck her hand down the strippers pants. Shit just got real.
Going home with an argentinian named sulvio. Ill let you know how it goes.
Someone apparently named 'eleaw' just text me asking if I had fun last night.
I fed him jelly beans while he fingered me. Win, win situation.
Theres a picture of me with cut up clothes rolling in the policeman's lawn, I missed you, summer.
No...this little piggys going to the bar
The sun and I are not on speaking terms this morning
You're the reason I lose Never Have I Ever
last night on the strip the guy screamed at you YOU GOTTA WORK ON YOUR CALVES.
He ran into the surf holding up a cigarette yelling "let the Olympic games begin!" So no, no vodka left.
I walked so much yesterday and I was like holy fuck I need to do some cardio apart from sex cause this is ridic
ONE DAY CAN WE PLEASE HAVE SECRET SEX. PREFERABLY IN AN ANCIENT PYRAMID BUT I'M NOT OPPOSED TO A 4 STAR HOTEL
Randomize
