I can handle NPR. I speak hippie. I took it in college.
working out is totally making me break out.. i'm doomed to forever be either a butterface or a butterbod. there is no way out.
and he said i stripped him down, hand cuffed him to his bed post, and tickled his arm pits, and then continued to watch The Hangover.
Well today was Thanksgiving Anti-Miracle Daydrinkathon so I had to be drunk by 2pm
you know you made out with my sister while holding Ur girlfriends hand while she was puking in the toilet right
I feel that the drunker I get, the drunker Facebook gets.
Bitch, it's 2 in the afternoon.
i think the theme of this summer is "shitting in weird locations."
buying a tattoo gun on ebay just sounded like a good idea at the time idk man
I cant see straight, her clothes are all over my floor and I'm covered in bite marks... No I will not go to brunch with you
I mixed Jack with hot chocolate. This may be the best or worst idea ever. I have yet to find that out
She couldn't understand why my walking in on her 70 year old parents ruined any chance of a boner for at least an hour. I think she's too slow for me to fornicate with.
I love everything about him! His penis, his hair, his tattoos, his penis, his cat, his penis.
His cat just sat there and simultaneously bobbed his head up and down while I blew him
You are cut off. Your giant penis and crazy awesome sex is ruining my body...
Either im seeing the northern lightgs, someone is having a rave, or im on acid.. Im most likely on acid
Randomize
