do you know how bad I want you right now?
As bad as i want you to stop texting me?
is that a hint?
i am so afraid to go to the bathroom. i am afraid i am going to fall asleep on the toillet.
Special does not even begin to describe that text.
pray for me tomorrow cause I have a midterm that I've mostly studied for by watching Bill Nye episodes on the subject...
Yes i believe i did use that word. It culminated in a man wearing a corset thigh highs and stripper shoes. All mine btw.
when i was alone, his dick was there for me...
You just kept yelling, "THAT'S THE POWER OF PINESOL, BABY!"
Lets just not get arrested. That might put a damper on everything. I only say that cause i've almost been arrested.
He blew a .19 and then slurred "well I did have some rum cake earlier today officer".
And is it bad that I haven't talked to guys who I haven't already dated? I feel like a recycle bin.
How big of a disservice to the economy would we be doing if we didn't drink every day holiday break?
I was chasing pulls of fireball with bites of a bagel and yelling at people to take tequila shots with me. I shouldn't be allowed to go out alone.
You told the bartender at least five times that you were naming your son "Jagermeister" but you would use the bartender's name "Fernando" as his middle name. You were drunk.
for once I'd like a one night stand where I don't meet the guys mom or wife in the morning
Btw I'm playing passed out so you can get laid but obviously you need to take the offense just ask him if he wants to go to bed and leave a cigg on the counter
As your boyfriend, I'm gonna congratulate you on winning that fist fight. But as a cop, I have to tell you to not do that again.
Randomize
